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Struggles of the modern woman

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Sometimes I wonder did we screwed everything up? I do appreciate women’s activists for giving us all the options we have today. And I do understand some readers might already hate me after these two lines. But I guess I have to live with that. But I do wonder sometimes – have we screwed things up for women and did our ancestors 100years ago had it easier?

Open options to be anything

Today we are thought that if we study and work hard – we can become anything. Sometimes it even feels like everyone is expecting more of girls. Girls should know from early on what they want to become and work towards it.

How often do you hear the phrase “Girl will be girls” when a girl messes up or makes a mistake. But we excuse boys without any second thought – they are boys.

We can be doctors, managers, directors, or even presidents – astronauts? Anything and sky is the limit – or no limits? The only trick is we have to want it and work hard for it.

Expectation gets higher and higher

At the same time, we are expected to behave, be good, and look beautiful. Women should be wired to want kids and family. And merging their career and family life with spotless homes are given.

Illustration: Woman is judged when
takes care of others, takes care of herself, can do it all, can't do it all, ask help, don't ask help, is tired, are ambitious, not ambitious, are moms, not moms, working, not working

We judge women for whatever they do – and we are surprised when they break down? We are surprised that the levels of suicide attempts and the need for mental health treatments have risen drastically.

We have demanded and gotten equal rights as men. But we are not equal and I think we will never be. Everything we have gotten has been added to the list of women’s duties. But nothing has been added to men’s duties or taken off from women’s list. Yes, some may say: There are no men/women jobs or tasks anymore. Is it true though?

We still expect women to want kids, family, and have it. Cook, clean, sew. And have a job or even a career. Everything at the same time. The superwomen who pull it off – are bad. As are women who don’t.

When we raised a bar for women – we lowered the bar for men. I find it sad how many younger people and even people my age think it is normal that a man can’t assemble furniture, not to mention build it. Even install a self on the wall or curtains hanger.

It’s OK for a man to hire another man to fix things at his home. But it’s frowned upon for women to hire someone to clean their home. So are we equal?

Can we make it?

This system builds up unrealistic expectations. For society and women themselves. Women are growing up thinking they have to be perfect at everything. Believes that a true woman can do it all with a smile on their face and looking perfect at all times.

These women burn out fast and it seems that mothers are in the biggest danger. They break down and refuse to ask for help before it’s too late. Every mom who hides her human side from her kids recreates this. No, I don’t think mothers should unload their worries on kids. But they should see that mothers are tired and struggle sometimes with everyday tasks.

So when they grow up – they won’t feel like a failure when everything isn’t perfect. If they can’t do it all. If they need help.

5 thoughts on “Struggles of the modern woman

  1. I couldn’t agree more. I think the media is partly to blame for this. It’s definitely hard to try and have it all and balance everything without experiencing burnout, like you say. My mental health has taken a nose dive this week because there just hasn’t been to time for me.

    MumLifeAnd.me

    1. Everyone contributes to this. My hope is that more and more will be heard voices that say we are not superhumans and both parents are equal in all. It so common thinking that dads just babysit their kids sometimes … when moms aren’t able..

      Hope you will be better soon!

  2. I feel you on this. Women are expected to do it all, be it all and never complain. Women are questioned regarding kids and if someone doesn’t want them they are instantly looked down upon but if a man said he doesn’t want kids it’s a big laugh and “yeah, same” like, where’s the equality in that? Women are still seen as subpar, the world expects everything from us and to be ok with that.

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