were we on a break?
Blogging stories - Stories on the wall

Were we on the break?

This post will be different, it’s a letter from me to you. And yes, the topic is a reference to the epic Friends question. Some of you might know my love for this show already đź™‚ But this letter isn’t about Friends – it’s about me and you, my reader. So will this letter be 18 pages…?
Earlier this year I found myself a bit too overwhelmed – not sure it’s the right word, but it suits for now. School work got more demanding, graduation requirements were pouring in and on top of that I got a new job – which meant I had to hand over all my tasks (meaning what and how I do it, because no one ever cared before how I got things done) and right after that start learn my new tasks – since I changed speciality. I was drained, both emotionally and physically.
I wanted to write and had sooo many ideas for my blog. I had and have so many drafts to finish, but every time I logged in to write – I was blank. Soon I felt depressed even thinking about “I have to write/work on my blog”. I just didn’t had anything left to give and every moment I had a small break window which could have been used for blog – I felt guilty not doing that, not being able to do that. But I wasn’t ready to drop the bar either – to write and publish anything just to publish. I want my writings to have me in it. If it makes sense. At least here, in this blog.
It was a long struggle and debate with myself but I did decide to just prioritize – school, new job, family and everything else after that if I can. I put blog on hold with intention to come back to it after school when hopefully things have settled a little. At least that’s what I thought then – that life will get less hectic after graduation.
I did graduate and got two Occupational Qualification Certificates of Graduate of Vocational Training in business management with two specialities – first one is marketing and sales specialist and second one for purchasing specialist. Which means that I have now 3rd party proof that I actually know how to do a job I did for 10 years!
And as a twist – my new  role is business analyst for IT system. Completely different playing field. But I am still proud to have these certificates and I know some of these skills helped me to get this new role and some of them will help me do the work. And although I am currently super happy about this and kind of over the moon about the perks – mainly being allowed to work remotely! We never know what future holds and I those certificates might be handy someday.
This might sound crazy (after all this) but I did actually thought about going to school again. For now I have decided to skip one year and look back into it next summer. Mainly because the end was hard and second: dream home! There is so much that needs to be done an even if I can see the house and the yard -it’s kind of still in our heads.
After school was done, graduation celebrated – we started packing for the move. Yep! We moved to the dream home. It’s a bit extreme and I bet all who have actually seen it thinks we have lost our minds for good. There is no house, we have rented container used in construction. It keeps heat, has AC and power. Is completely weatherproof đź™‚ within it’s four walls. But we don’t have modern amenities as running hot (warm) water, flushing toilet. Also our washing machine is on vacation until we can make a place to connect it. We do have running cold water – straight from our personal well.
All our stuff is stored in the old house and when we need something it feels like a treasure hunt because although I did try to pack with some logical system – the end was fast and oh crap how much stuff we have! And adding the little factor that I didn’t place every box in the drop off – I have no glue where anything is. Unless it’s BIG. Like a washing machine đź™‚
Lately has been a lot of talk about being ready when crises hit – and because of our close and angry neighbour country the first one coming to mind since february 2022 is war. Authorities remind us to ask from ourselves can we survive and manage. We are getting there. And even if it’s not as comfy living here than it is in the apartment in the city – I feel better, more relaxed. I spend most of my days outside doing either an office job or a dream home job.
Because Estonia is a proud e-country – we have possibilities to use the internet almost everywhere depending on the selected operator – this means I can do my office job here, out in the small village, from my front garden. And the internet is strong enough to handle even conference video calls.
So I haven’t been slacking or forgot about you. I have been building life and creating memories. I feel better, more relaxed even though there are still some problems to solve. It’s something about nature that calms the nerves. It’s also humbling – the big trees have been here longer than I have lived. And probably will be here after me.
I really hope this time off won’t be as epic and unfixable as “the break” in Friends and it takes less time for you, my reader, to forgive me my absence than it took Rachel. At least I didn’t cheat – I didn’t publish posts anywhere else đź™‚ And although I can’t promise that I will post again every week, yet. But I am here, working on that and sooner than I would like – winter is coming. Meaning less time out and more time to write.

Keep dreaming!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *